It’s New Year’s Eve, and I’m with my girlfriend Chloe. We’re on our way to a local church to pick up a homeless woman that Chloe’d befriended. It was a nice gesture that fit with the then current holiday season - it was all Chloe’s idea. I won’t name the person in need, but she needed help doing laundry and had no means to do so. The plan was to have her over at the house to clean her clothes and go along her way. But myself and another roommate weren’t comfortable with her coming into our house. This wasn’t a question of judgment by Chloe; it was simply an issue of trust in general. Who’s to know, no matter the vibe of the person, who will venture their way into our home, "casing” the house, examining the locks, learning the layout of our private home for a later visit?
Living in the city has made us less trusting of, generally, everybody. The benefit of the doubt makes up a very small slice of the pie, especially when possessions of value are connected to a situation. And it began my thought process which led to the notion that the few bad eggs will always ruin it for the rest of those people, whomever those may be. The homeless friend, in this situation, did seem like a very nice woman - I met her. She seemed sweet and well-intentioned, capable yet unlucky. But we wouldn’t have it, solely based on past experiences and horror stories. It’s a shame, but it’s just as much playing the odds in life. Similarly, being a skateboarder, you’re generally not trusted. Most people (and this IS slowly changing) will not give us the benefit of the doubt, only because of the several assholes out there that will break windows with their boards and curse pedestrians instead of apologizing to them. Many of us (skateboarders) are warm and gracious souls, whether or not we once had those mischievous tendencies. But the few ruin it for the many.
Living in the city has made us less trusting of, generally, everybody. The benefit of the doubt makes up a very small slice of the pie, especially when possessions of value are connected to a situation. And it began my thought process which led to the notion that the few bad eggs will always ruin it for the rest of those people, whomever those may be. The homeless friend, in this situation, did seem like a very nice woman - I met her. She seemed sweet and well-intentioned, capable yet unlucky. But we wouldn’t have it, solely based on past experiences and horror stories. It’s a shame, but it’s just as much playing the odds in life. Similarly, being a skateboarder, you’re generally not trusted. Most people (and this IS slowly changing) will not give us the benefit of the doubt, only because of the several assholes out there that will break windows with their boards and curse pedestrians instead of apologizing to them. Many of us (skateboarders) are warm and gracious souls, whether or not we once had those mischievous tendencies. But the few ruin it for the many.
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And so there I was thinking, “this isn’t fair for her.” Chloe’s friend was very nice about the whole thing. We did provide the funds and supplies for laundry at the laundromat, and we know that was appreciated, but we (I) still didn’t want her in our home. Was I too, a judgmental person for lacking the trust there? Was I no different than the person kicking me out from skating a spot on a Sunday afternoon? It was hard for me to answer the inquiry, but continued my thinking…
If we weren’t the ones to take her in, who would be? I wasn’t sure. I’m still not. But my rational mind, the same one that’s learned many good lessons, wouldn’t quit playing the odds. The chances that she casually observed our living arrangements and learned of our New Years plans, later returning when she was certain no one would be home… It was too much to ignore for the trust that she’s a good person. It’s a shame that this is the way we must behave, or that I do behave. But I still haven’t been able to change my mind.
A New Years Resolution: Don’t assume the worst. Prepare for it, but don’t envision it in the majority of interactions. And don’t be an asshole. That only makes it worse for the rest of us.
- 7Ply Epic
If we weren’t the ones to take her in, who would be? I wasn’t sure. I’m still not. But my rational mind, the same one that’s learned many good lessons, wouldn’t quit playing the odds. The chances that she casually observed our living arrangements and learned of our New Years plans, later returning when she was certain no one would be home… It was too much to ignore for the trust that she’s a good person. It’s a shame that this is the way we must behave, or that I do behave. But I still haven’t been able to change my mind.
A New Years Resolution: Don’t assume the worst. Prepare for it, but don’t envision it in the majority of interactions. And don’t be an asshole. That only makes it worse for the rest of us.
- 7Ply Epic
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