All the time, I hear this. People saying, “find your balance.” It’s almost trendy now to be zen and to suggest that we need to be centered to lead a fulfilling life. The thing is, I agree with the ethos. I just think people talk about it without understanding it. I’ve been guilty of that, to some degree, in the past. But what does finding your balance really mean?
I’ve thought recently and often about this. This, of course, is in the context of Keegan, but for what it’s worth: there are two selves. The stubborn, confident, brave self and the adaptive, easy-going, sympathetic self. The two selves contradict each other, yet they complement each other at the same time.
Daily life can become stressful quickly. There are too many things available to spend your time doing. There are so many that you have to do. And there are always those that you want to do. The more of one thing you do, the less of another you can do. And so on; so forth. The balancing act is only real seemingly because of a time constraint. But stress, for me, derives from a place of uncertainty. Not always knowing if I’m doing the right things at the right time for my future success. And that’s the stubborn self. The one that’s dead set on accomplishment. The one that’s hyped to be where we are but forever wanting more. The stubborn self doesn’t give a shit about the other self. Because its stubborn, confident and brave. It always thinks it has the best action in mind. There is a constant stress level looming but only because the self isn’t letting the mind escape it’s checklists and plans for awesomeness. The stubborn self.
I’ve thought recently and often about this. This, of course, is in the context of Keegan, but for what it’s worth: there are two selves. The stubborn, confident, brave self and the adaptive, easy-going, sympathetic self. The two selves contradict each other, yet they complement each other at the same time.
Daily life can become stressful quickly. There are too many things available to spend your time doing. There are so many that you have to do. And there are always those that you want to do. The more of one thing you do, the less of another you can do. And so on; so forth. The balancing act is only real seemingly because of a time constraint. But stress, for me, derives from a place of uncertainty. Not always knowing if I’m doing the right things at the right time for my future success. And that’s the stubborn self. The one that’s dead set on accomplishment. The one that’s hyped to be where we are but forever wanting more. The stubborn self doesn’t give a shit about the other self. Because its stubborn, confident and brave. It always thinks it has the best action in mind. There is a constant stress level looming but only because the self isn’t letting the mind escape it’s checklists and plans for awesomeness. The stubborn self.
The adaptive self is down to go with the flow. The adaptive self can flex with the schedule but really just wants to go skate or read that book or go for a hike. The adaptive self isn’t going to hold on to any moment in the past. It disagrees with the mission of the stubborn self but respects what it’s accomplished and what it’s trying to do, because, well, it’s easy-going. When the stubborn self understands and works with the adaptive self, the system works. It works beautifully. But the nature of the stubborn self is to be stubborn. The lack of oversight and surplus of ambition can keep the stubborn self on the hamster wheel for much too long and with too little purpose. The stubborn self is too proud to respect the adaptive self back, but it is only for lack of empathy. The stubborn self realizes that most of the success thus far was due to the headstrong nature of itself. But it fails to recognize that the only purpose that exists in either self’s life is provided by the easy-going and sympathetic, adaptive self.
The stubborn self is only as strong as it is with its other half. It is brave and sees itself as such. But the irony lies in that the inability to give up power is actually cowardice. To ultimately love life, we all need to sacrifice a bit of security and certainty from time to time - the adaptive self knows this. The stubborn self refuses to acknowledge it. And my whole self needs to learn how to give them equal playing time.
More and more, recently, I’ve been giving up daily pleasures in the pursuit of a personal mission. And the personal mission isn’t always as rewarding as the dream illustrated it to be. There are always ups and downs, and it may just be a long-term “down,” but acknowledging the adaptive self in daily rituals, habits and simple pleasures is something I need to personally do more of.
This may or may not be useful to anyone else. Each person is different, and some don’t even have as much of a stubborn self. But I hope you enjoyed reading this. If you did! Like, Share, and Subscribe! Just kidding, but I appreciate any feedback, for those of you that are still reading this.
Each week is a challenge. Each day (hopefully) a lesson.
- 7PlyEpic
The stubborn self is only as strong as it is with its other half. It is brave and sees itself as such. But the irony lies in that the inability to give up power is actually cowardice. To ultimately love life, we all need to sacrifice a bit of security and certainty from time to time - the adaptive self knows this. The stubborn self refuses to acknowledge it. And my whole self needs to learn how to give them equal playing time.
More and more, recently, I’ve been giving up daily pleasures in the pursuit of a personal mission. And the personal mission isn’t always as rewarding as the dream illustrated it to be. There are always ups and downs, and it may just be a long-term “down,” but acknowledging the adaptive self in daily rituals, habits and simple pleasures is something I need to personally do more of.
This may or may not be useful to anyone else. Each person is different, and some don’t even have as much of a stubborn self. But I hope you enjoyed reading this. If you did! Like, Share, and Subscribe! Just kidding, but I appreciate any feedback, for those of you that are still reading this.
Each week is a challenge. Each day (hopefully) a lesson.
- 7PlyEpic